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Joke of the Day

"*feels the music* Music: ""ew. no."""

"I met an exercising nun. She was a firm believer."

"Laughed so hard tears ran down my leg."

"It's important for a dentist to know advanced mathematics They often have to deal with calculus on the job."

"What do they call a monastery key that opens all doors? Monk key"

"Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet"

"I would rather... die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Katie Price has called her baby Bunny. Nice bit of meat to go with the vegetable that she already has."

"I've been keeping this a secret for almost a year now because I didn't want to lose friends: I don't work on Mondays."

"[at Chinese restaurant] ""Hi I'll have a large goingon"" -What is goingon? ""Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"""