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Joke of the Day

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"Why did the blind lady fall in a well? because she couldn't see that well"

"Q: What did the Dorito say to the other Dorito. A: I can't tell you it was to cheesy."

"If you survived a shark attack, nice job, asshole. You just missed out on the coolest way to die."

"Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly."

"Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.' Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'"

"You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she organizes body parts in her freezer"

"children in the back seat cause accidents accidents in the back seat cause children"

"Asked my dad if he heard about the head tranplant on the news. He said, ""No, but it sounds like it's way ahead of it's time."""

"Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man"