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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a woman in heaven? An Angel A crowd of women in heaven? - A host of Angels And all women in heaven? - PEACE ON EARTH!"

"Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right"

"Eye no howe too spiel"

"How do hurricanes see? -With one eye"

"ME: My New Year's resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) ...vegetables."

"They say the average person has sex 82 times a year.... ......I guess I'm going to be busy as hell for the next four days."

"The Koala should be classified as a bear It has all the Koalafications"

"I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend and re-wire the toaster. She was shocked."

"Q: How did the hot dog vendor tackle his job? A: With relish."

"Why you don't ask grandma sex questions I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""