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Joke of the Day

"At the office, my colleague had her computer on with an unsaved document. I looked at her in the eyes and told her I'd tap that s with control."

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"Why did the angles have such high self esteem? Because they kept complementing each other."
"What do white nationalists call three left turns? An alt-right"
"Why did the eskimo spend 3 hours arguing with the return counter? Because the warranty is void if the seal is broken."
"Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."
"I have a dog that can perform magic tricks. i call him Houndini.."
"Q: Which positions does a violist use? A: First third and emergency."
"Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards? Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat."
"What did one dog say to the other? How the fuck should I know, I don't speak dog."
"What do you call an Indian man with motivation? Deturbaned"