53848

Joke of the Day

"CNN is confirming that the only news in the world today is the blizzard. everything else is under control."

"I was just reading about the Volkswagen fiasco recently, and something puzzled me. It's not like Germans to get gas emissions wrong."

"I stopped to tie my shoe at the airport and someone reported me as an unattended bag."

"Last month I lost my camouflage hat... I'm not sure how I should feel about this"

"What do you call two doctors with colds? An ironic paradox."

"I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day."

"I'm feeling more attracted to you lately. Have you put on weight?"

"Most conversations that occur over Bluetooth are about buying a used jet ski."

"Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!"

"i guess. 7..8...9? (horrible windows joke i'm sorry)"