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Joke of the Day
"How do you circumcise a Trump supporter? Kick his sister in the jaw."
Next Joke
"[family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK"
"Fight club but just dueling neighbor's aggressively leaf blowing leaves onto each other's lawns."
"Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend."
"A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face. Edit: Come on! It s a joke, don t get butt hurt! And yes, I spelled woman wrong, who cares?"
"If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)"
"Clinton Campaign Hillary's Clinton's response to allegations of receiving money from foreign governments to fund her campaign: ""I did NOT have financial relations with those countries!"""
"Why did the chicken run out into traffic? To get to the other side."
"Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person."
"Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What."