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Joke of the Day

"You what the opposite of premature ejaculation is? Ejacu-late"

"I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max."

"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis."

"* 50 pushups * * 100 situps * * Runs 3 miles * My exercise program is really going great since I switched to all asterisk actions."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. No pubes."

"Why did the ant-elope ? Nobody gnu !"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!' Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes"

"What do you call a horny Welshman on top of the Space Needle? Sheepless in Seattle"

"What did the flower say about the tree heading to the sky? He's on route."