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Joke of the Day

"Haven't tweeted lately because I'm really absorbed by this Bounty paper towel."

"Weird Question in Exam Q) What do you find in cells? My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology."

"What do you get when you push a piano down a mining shaft? A flat minor."

"I love throwing house warming parties But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'."

"When people say ""To be honest..."", it means that up to that point they've been lying."

"My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera."

"What do princess diana and pink floyd have in common? Their last greatest hit was the wall."

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but there's only room in your ass for one head, and yours is already there ."

"From my girlfriend's boss: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."