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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting really tired of this shit No, seriously, I've been sitting here pushing for like 25 minutes but nothing will come out and I'm exhausted."

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"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? (Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken"
"My car's GPS has learned to say ""Your other left."""
"[Dirty] A man goes to a hooker... A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What did you expect for $10? Lobsters ?"""
"What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer."
"They used to be called Jumpolines. Until your mom jumped on one in 1972."
"LPT - If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of uncooked rice overnight. The rice will attract Asian people who will then fix your phone. Tried, tested, true"
"YOU MUST ENJOY THIS FOOD! It's a required taste."
"Man who farts in church... ... sits in own pew"
"THE WEEKND: I can't feel my face when I'm with you DENTIST (injecting novocaine): that's kinda the point dude"
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