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Joke of the Day

"What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common? Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel."

"Women are like pianos... if they're not upright, they're grand."

"Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go."

"How do you keep a blonde busy? Put ""flip"" on both sides of a piece of paper"

"I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves."

"Did you hear about the skydiving company that stopped providing their own parachutes? Too much overhead."

"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"

"I went to the gym and did a negative pullup today. It was a letdown."

"Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank."

"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"