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Joke of the Day

"customer: *looking at menu* what's good? me: not much what's good with you? him: ... him: ... me: chicken salad. the chicken salad is good."

"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."

"Dear Mr. Trump, thank you very much For all of the new gifs and new memes last night at the debate."

"How many dead schoolgirls does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than four because my basement's still dark."

"Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken."

"How do you call a car enthusiast who's interested in bikes? Bike-curious"

"What street in France do reindeer live on? Rue Dolph"

"Paddy's firework party was a complete disaster. ""I don't understand it!"" He said. ""They all worked fine when I tried them yesterday,"""

"My congressman just wrote to tell me if I don't re-elect him, whatever-scares-me-most will probably happen. Send money."

"Now I really am just like Christine O'Donnell (not a Senator)"