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Joke of the Day
"What's blue and smells like red paint? Just guess. BLUE PAINT."
Next Joke
"I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song"
"A policeman just knocked on the door. He said, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident..."" I said ""Yes but she has a great personality!"""
"What is worse than ants in your pants? ......... Uncles."
"Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night? Because she's a cover thief."
"In Seattle, there's a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first."
"Every time I get out of a small car it looks like a giraffe being born."
"What song do burgers sing on the job? Gristle While You Work!"
"Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors? Because they take everything, literally."
"Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed."