5373

Joke of the Day

"[traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you"

"My wife said she's leaving me due to my obsession with breakfast cereals. I replied cheerios then."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard."

"""Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?"" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs"

"Just threw out my one night stand. There were termites."

"We can put a man on the moon, but we can't stop internet porn from buffering every 20 seconds."

"Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything. Ninja: So does a samurai sword. L: But does it make a cool noise? N: *cuts off Luke's other hand*"

"What letter never satisfies it's wife? The quick E"

"That new show, Black-ish just started airing in Korea. It's called Brackish."