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Joke of the Day

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."

"Did you hear about the African man who refused to accept the fact that he couldn't swim? They say he died in denial."

"Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze"

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper up to a mile away."

"I shouldn't be entrusted with responsibility. I took my pet rock to the lake for an afternoon of swimming... He drowned. RIP Dwayne"

"When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... ... not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I just might vote for it."

"The lady behind me in line at Target was frustrated I was writing a check, so I got out a feather pen and ink bottle and did it right."