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Joke of the Day

"A redhead tells her blonde friend she had sex with a Brazilian while on vacation. The blonde says, ""You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"The ugliest baby in the world was just born... they didn't print a birth certificate... they printed an apology letter instead."

"Just realized I only had one meal today. One, thirteen-hour meal."

"The story of Rudolph is a great way to let your kid know that bullies will keep torturing him until he's famous, then they'll be his friend."

"What do you call a good looking tractor? Attractor"

"Patient: Tell me honestly how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine but your gums will have to come out."

"I'm in a band called ""Stuck In The Fucking Departure Lounge!"" Check us out!"

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold onto your nuts, this is no *ordinary* blow job!"

"What does a robot do after sex? Nuts and bolts"

"Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas"