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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Tell me honestly how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine but your gums will have to come out."

"Today I was reversing my car off the drive... ... and I thought ""Ahh, this takes me back."""

"I just seen a kid yell at his dad and tell him ""No jerk!"" I yelled at my dad once when I was 12, then I woke up and I was 16."

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"There are three types of people... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"I'm starving. I haven't eaten all year."

"My body is a temple. What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago."

"How many grains of sand are there in the world? As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted."

"If all of Ireland sank, what part of it wouldn't? County Cork"

"Why was Kylo Ren embarrassed at McDonald's? It was his First Order!"