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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care? An eggsy-stench-alist."

"[God creating mosquitoes] ""I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."""

"Attack today with a positive attitude. Absolutely destroy it with good vibes. Murder its family with hope."

"What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em eat 'em!"

"Father names his son Bentley. His friend asks - are you stupid? Why would you name your son Bentley?! Father - i don't care. At least i have Bentley now."

"It's a doge eat doge world out there. Such cutthroat. Very survival of the fitter"

"What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ? Discordant !"

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? Your mom can't fit in a bowling ball."

"A husband came home with half gallon a of ice cream and asked his wife if she wanted some. ""How hard is it?"" she asked. ""About as hard as my dick,"" he replied. ""Pour me some."""

"Why did the chicken dance with a fig? It couldn't get a date."