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Joke of the Day

"What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em eat 'em!"

"America leads the world in religious people who use 'bless your heart' as an insult."

"Now I'm not saying that your new girlfriend is a slut.. but Bermuda Triangle has swallowed fewer seamen."

"What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars? Top Gear, ^^or ^whatever ^^their ^^new ^^amazon ^^car ^^show ^^will ^^be ^^called."

"*runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*"

"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."

"A good name for a transvestite. Susan B. Anthony"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam? He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred"

"The school phoned me today and said, ""Your son's been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"""

"Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? A. ""It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."""