12158

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken dance with a fig? It couldn't get a date."

"The last time I checked, I was a weirdo. Let me check again. Yep, still a weirdo."

"ALCOHOL: The nighttime laughing, slurring, blurring, shouting, pounding head, confidence, so you can turnt shit up medicine."

"What's a pilots favourite artist? David Boeing."

"Hillary should make Bernie the ambassador to Japan. His knowledge of harpooning whales will definitely help bridge the cultural divide."

"How do you know you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"I wished I loved anything as much as my wife loves inspecting the pots and pans I wash by hand."

"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers."

"I choked on viagra this morning. I had a stiff neck for hours."

"The Problem With New Jeans I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. ""Was anything wrong with them?"" the clerk asked. ""Yes,"" I said. ""They hurt my feelings."""