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Joke of the Day

"If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet"

"A guy walks into a drs office with a carrot in his ear.. ..and a piece of broccoli up his nose. The Dr told him he isn't eating right."

"What's the best way to fit 30 Jews in a 5 passenger car? 30 in the ashtray"

"I decided to sell my vacuum... It was just collecting dust."

"Yo mama is so poor... ... ducks throw bread at her."

"Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed"

"""Now?"" ""Not yet."" ""Now?"" ""Not quite."" *Car approaches* ""Now?"" ""Now."" -Deer crossing the road"

"I wish my penis felt the same way my nose currently does. Because then it too would be raw from having been blown all day."

"On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?"

"What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood? Super Barrio Mothers"