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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a pimp with his whores? A guard and hoes."
Next Joke
"People always give up on me when I show them these words. See if you can get the opposite of each word: Always Staying From Take Me Down"
"What do you call Irish fruit punch? A barfight in a gaybar"
"(taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships"
"[in car] Wife: Dont tell ur arm story Me: Im gonna stick to humorous stories 2nite babe *at party* AND THAT'S WHEN MY HUMOROUS BROKE IN HALF"
"[spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR"
"It used to be that when people would tell me to go to Hell, I'd say ""I don't believe in Hell."" But then I got married."
"Why did the newspaper cross the street? To get to the other side of the story."
"The Dallas gunman was a bit late. I know he wanted red whites in blue, but the 4th of July was like a week and a half ago."
"What do you call a content vowel? A Cheerio."