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Joke of the Day

"if we know your religion, stance on gun control & how many kids you have just by looking at your car, you have way too many bumper stickers"

"Why did the librarian hush the mime? Because actions speak louder than words."

"How can you tell a cow isn't listening to you? Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!"

"What do scientists wear? Kelvin Klein"

"Bloody Mary used to be Virgin Mary."

"Why is Iran called Iran? Because when I saw the bombs, I*ran*"

"Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your x. and dont ask y."

"How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but fuck if I know how they got in there"

"What would call a person who isn't worthy of being looked at? Unseaworthy"

"What do you call a fake Irish diamond? A shamrock."