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Joke of the Day

"Carp we hit an iceberg! What am I herring? This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me? You're so shellfish Fin"

"I think I just had my first orgasm? I was shaking and my legs were shaking and everything. Then I just realized that wasn't a orgasm, ""THAT WAS A EARTHQUAKE!"" :'("

"*A demon tries to posses my soul while I sleep but can't because he's choking on all of the axe body spray I'm wearing*"

"Nintendo or Nintendont There is no nintendtry"

"Today I learned that diarrhea is a genetic disorder Because it runs in your jeans."

"The inventor of AutoCorrect... ...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off."

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."

"What do they do when the Queen has a baby? Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby? Fire the dirty old Canon."

"All the refugees at the Olympics are competing in Track & Field. I guess the ones that weren't good at running didn't make it."