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Joke of the Day

"Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war."

"i put the "":/"" in ""http://""."

"""Hi honey did you miss me?"" ""With every bullet so far"" - Married with children. Peggy and Al Bundy. Just watch the whole thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_PKMbdNTU"

"If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length."

"A husband says to his wife: ""I hate to tell you this but your swimming costume is very tight and revealing."" ""Wear your own one then!"""

"What did Ferris Bueller do after he graduated high school? He went to Europe to study a-Broderick"

"Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Never mind, I forgot."

"""Knock Knock"" ""Whos there?"" ""From"" ""From who?"" ""Its pronounced, From *whom*!"" Sorry for bad joke, please leave your criticism! I need it to make funnier jokes! P.S. its not!"

"After a long day at work, I like to spend time at home with my liquor cabinet oh and my wife I guess and that thing that poops."

"Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them"