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Joke of the Day

"""Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip."" Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip. Dispatcher: Go ahead. Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay."

"Q: what is the scariest religion? A: boo-dism. Im kidding its all of them haha"

"#ReplaceACelebWithAHouseHoldItem Nail Patrick Harris"

"I just don't understand kids. My kid says he wants to play heavy metal. So why's he so mad at me? I bought him one of the best tubas money can buy!"

"Ignorance is a palindrome"

"Butter and Blonde"

"The Bangles are getting their own cooking show. Wok Like an Egyptian"

"GENIE: you have three wishes ME: make math go away GENIE: ha ok that one's on the house ME: oh so I still get three wishes? GENIE: huh?"

"Women who like facials must be a myth. At least, I've never cum across one."

"There is only one type of cake I don't like Stomach ache"