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Joke of the Day
"Why did the servant of the Airplane King get executed? He was not Boeing."
Next Joke
"Her: Why's the couch smell like pee? [Flashback to me watching The Ring alone] Me: *points at son* I think someone had another ""accident."""
"So they were going to make a new CSI tv show in West Virginia... But they had to scrap production when they realized there were no dental records and all the DNA was the same."
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? Investigator"
"What's Mario's favorite fruit? Peach."
"Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless."
"What do builders use to make websites? Com.crete."
"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive... I'll be a millionaire!"
"Hey, Johns, your parents thought about your name for about half a second."
"Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas? ...because they're still alive."