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Joke of the Day

"What do Asians do when they have an erection? They vote."

"cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure"

"What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession? a rem job"

"I want you more then a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day."

"Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually."

"Why do fat girls give great head? Because they have to"

"A lesbian couple and a gay couple had a race to see who could get across the country to California first The lesbians arrived first, lickity split. The gay dudes were still at home packing their shit."

"A man once told me that he had never went to the bathroom in his entire life. I told him he was full of shit."

"I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head."

"You know, not all Italians are in the mafia. Some are in the Witness Protection Program."