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Joke of the Day
"Make sure to tip your waitress. It's pretty funny when they fall over."
Next Joke
"I've pre-planned my funeral to include a 32 minute montage of the times I've accidentally waved hello to someone waving to someone behind me."
"I was playing guitar then my 2 year old took my guitar pick and dropped it somewhere. ""Where is my pick,"" I said. He replied ""Oink Oink! "" I repeated the question but got the same answer every time."
"Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast."
"Picture me eating dinner. Wrong! Louder. Drunker. Even more backup dancers."
"Uma Thurman's eyes are so wide apart...... she can accurately measure the distance to the moon using parallax."
"Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night. One was a salted."
"Me at age 5 ""I wish I had a $1"" Me at age 10 ""I wish I had $100"" Me at age 17 ""I wish I had $1,000,000"" Me at age 26 ""I wish I had $1"""
"Who lost a herd of elephants ? Big bo peep !"
"What should you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler"