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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, they're efficient and they aren't very funny."

"What is a vampire's favorite sport? Batminton."

"I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential."

"What is it called when Al Gore comes up with a solution to a problem? An Al-Gore-ithm. I'll see myself out."

"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""

"WRITING TIP: Every movie should start with a close-up of an alarm clock going off and a hand clumsily trying to silence it."

"I need to stop Binge thinking."

"[NSFW] How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish? In the midnight hour she cried ""Moe! Moe! Moe!"""

"I'm volunteering at the tempura house tonight. It's a shelter for lightly battered women."

"I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn't accept Jesus."