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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of assault? a pepper."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her."
"Me: I have bad news about Bob. Friend: Bob from work or Bob that always fakes his own death? Me: *Drops shovel* Ut oh..."
"When four people arrive at a 4-way stop at the same time, it is required that they exit their vehicles and fight to the death."
"Want to read a great construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it."
"Disease doesn't care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!"
"How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man? They use a machine gun."
"On the demolition teams last job... They did a bang up job"
"After a lot of deliberation I've decided communism isn't right... It's left"
"who says homosexuality isn't a decision? i turn women gay all the time."