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Joke of the Day

"Want to read a great construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it."

"What kind of eye disease do vampires get? Dracular degeneration."

"Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town? They wished it was Anubis."

"We all knew that Jared Fogle loves the Subway Turkey Sub... but now we find out he likes to sneak a little salami into the bun too"

"One old man was talking to another ""Hows your incontinence?"" ""Depends."""

"Just removed my bra, whipped it around my head, and tried to toss it away, but a hook got caught in my hair. Available for bachelor parties."

"On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"

"Odds are there is someone who is your ""Facebook Friend"" that you absolutely cannot stand and the only reason you keep them on your list is to watch their slow untimely demise."

"A recent study states that people should only shower every 3-4 days. ""Stop being an idiot,"" said one wife who lives in my house."

"Parents yelling ""I'm not going to ask you again"" at their kids, will definitely be asking them again"