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Joke of the Day

"After a lot of deliberation I've decided communism isn't right... It's left"

"It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up."

"How does Germany pay for all these refugees? Krautfunding."

"Advanced OCD I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order; like they should be."

"What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer nuts are $1.29 a bag. Deer nuts are just under a buck."

"Attempted to have a bath. I am 6'2"". The bathtub most certainly is not. I looked like a praying mantis trying to take a nap in an iPod dock."

"My grandpa said ""your life revolves too much around technology. Then I said, ""no, yours does."" Then I unplugged his life support. EDIT: Came back from school to this! R.I.P Inbox!"

"When you're in trouble at work, be frank... That way, when the boss finds out, Frank gets the blame."

"Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it."

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I've said it before."