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Joke of the Day

"Men, if you have met your dream girl, materialize her."

"My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart."

"Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean? It is italicized."

"[dark alley] Here's the $3 million, thanks again for this, be sure to send pictures. Kidnapper: Wait, don't you want your kids back?"

"How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ? The latter represents people that win."

"Can't believe it's 2012 and still possible for me to cut myself shaving."

"I went to the dentist today... He said I wasn't wiping enough and that I have an anal cavity."

"What do you call a bunch of happy Seahawks fans after the Super Bowl? Haitians"

"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their biggest hit was the wall"