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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: And what would the lady like? Me: Waiter: Me: Waiter: Me: Date: Gigi, he means you. Me: *blushing* Oh, wow. He called me a lady."

"A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat The bartender says ""Put that back you thief!"""

"I can see 4 years into the future 20/20 Vision"

"'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'"

"Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive."

"Two Robins were lying in the sun when a cat ran up and gobbled them up.. ..It licked its lips and said 'I love basking robins'"

"What is hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out? A chewing gum"

"What's the only thing worse than a third Bush as president? A first Trump as president."

"My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines."

"When asked about whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger upgraded to Windows 10... ...He replied ""I still love Vista, baby"""