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Joke of the Day

"I can see 4 years into the future 20/20 Vision"

"What did the silkworm comment on the message board? ""This thread is shit."""

"Look. If we're going with redundancies like ""tunafish"", I'll just have my beefmeat and be done with it."

"I was in denial until her wake... But then I saw her face... now I'm a bereaver"

"HER: this isn't working out ME: is it because I'm too literal? HER: I just don't want to see you any more ME: ok *gently closes her eyes*"

"lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."

"Did you hear about the two men who were arrested for stealing a calendar? They each got six months"

"I tried to sell a Native American some land.... ...but he told me he had his reservations."

"What did the mexican-american say when two houses landed on him? Get off me holmes!"

"Hello 911? Yeah, my wife accidentally fell off a cruise ship 3 months ago"