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Joke of the Day

"What is the best thing about liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up."

"My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said "" everyone here is alive because I got laid ""."

"Two muffins are in an oven The first one says, ""Boy, it sure is hot in here."" The second one says, ""Oh my god, it's a talking muffin!"""

"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"

"Ariel was a minor and couldn't sign a legally binding contract. You'd think the king of the ocean's lawyers could get that shit thrown out."

"Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No"

"What does a ghost wear when it's raining? boooooooooooooots"

"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."

"I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers... I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums..."

"What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion? A Tomartyr"