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Joke of the Day

"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."

"Donald Trump is Playing Cards, his favorite card is The Trump Card"

"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."

"When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head."

"That awkward moment in church when you put your hands together to pray & you see the stamp from last night & you remember..."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who understand Hexadecimal, and F the rest"

"If I gave everyone on the planet a penny... ...would that be considered common cents?"

"""Why are you glowing?"" ""I've been eating light."""

"James calls a doc for help... Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now. Doctor: Is this her first child? James: Nope. It's her husband!"

"Trust me, I'm a liar. Lawyer, I meant lawyer."