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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers... I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums..."

"Happy and Sad An old man says to his wife, ""Honey, there is no possible way to feel both happiness and sadness at the same time."" The wife says, ""Out of all your brothers, you have the biggest dick."""

"Shout out to vegetarians for never having ant problems. All ant scouts find is broccoli crumbs and despair, and who wants to feed on that."

"How do you circumcise a guy in Alabama? You kick her sister in the chin!"

"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."

"Why do smarter people last longer when having sex? Because it takes twice as long to fuck their brains out"

"This game is like having sex in the woods It's fucking intents"

"AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub."

"Why is there a bucket of shit at an Italian wedding? To keep the flies off of the bride."

"The patient was about to die ""Well,"" said the doctor, ""He can wait."""