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Joke of the Day

"A great way to de-stress is to get in a car & drive til ur in a new town & ur name is Geoff. Doesnt matter if ur a boy or girl, ur Geoff now"

"My friend got a tattoo of his wife's name so I guess he loves her as much as he loves barbed wire."

"I have a hard time telling people when something is displeasing to me... I might be dys-like-sic."

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use some Lube."

"""Jesus loves you."" A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison."

"Invite everyone you know over for dinner. Set the table really fancy. Serve 6 courses that are just mayonnaise in different bowls/plates"

"How do blondes carpool? They meet up a work"

"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."

"I just saw an 8 year old hipster. Your move, apocalypse."

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."