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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about portugal? You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!"

"What kind of headphones did Chris Brown get Rihanna for her birthday? Beats"

"Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall I said maybe"

"A black guy walks into a police station in Florida and he never comes out."

"Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex"

"Pick up line for a Shakespeare lover. How now brown chicken brown cow?"

"I asked my husband: How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee? He replied... ...It's hard"

"DAD: You're adapted. SCREENPLAY: What?!"

"I think about wizards and dragons way more than a wizard of 3 small dragons should. Dammit I meant mother of 3 small dragons. Dammit I meant"

"What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box? All dressed up, with no place to go."