53123

Joke of the Day

"What kind of stretches does a pencil do? Ticondeyoga"

"A Neutron goes into a bar and orders a drink,when he asks how much the drink will cost him bartender says ""For you no charge""."

"What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement? Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part"

"Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!"

"How can you tell if your wife left you? You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!"

"Woke up this morning after a heavy night of drinking to find out that I'd gone bald. Which is strange because normally I go for brunettes."

"Just ask Tommy Hilfiger it out."

"Did you guys hear about the scandal with the South Korean president? She did the right thing and accepted Seoul responsibility."

"I had to unplug my mom's life support today. She always told me to finish my vegetables."

"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be a comedian"", well nobody's laughing now"