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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt"
Next Joke
"Why did the fisherman catch the Mackerel and then let it go? Cause he's all about that Bass, bout that Bass.... No Mackerel."
"What do you call someone who majors in geology and astronomy A rockstar"
"[vet school] ME: Welcome, students. Hope you brought textbooks because- [spins cat on finger like basketball] -I have no idea what I'm doing"
"I'm so depressed, Radiohead is cheering me up."
"I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won't find them."
"WARNING: This film MAY contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."
"YOU: I murdered someone. YOUR DOG: I'm totally cool with that. I love you. ****************** YOU: I murdered someone. YOUR CAT: Me too."
"Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !"
"Ever since childhood I've identified as a hippo. While other kids were playing, I savagely mauled villagers. #TransSpecies"