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Joke of the Day

"Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !"

"so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk"

"Sex is like snow. You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last."

"I once farted in an Apple store... It's not my fault they don't have windows."

"Winnie-the-Pooh is in tears He got Triggered."

"The barber in my neighborhood just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 4 years, and I never knew he was a barber."

"At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn't be feeding them this crap"

"Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player? He kept trying to tune her G string."

"Why didn't the rope get any presents this year? He was very knotty."

"Where were these Terrorists when Seth Rogen did the Green Hornet?!?!?"