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Joke of the Day

"My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait."

"guy at seaworld: ""it's a cross between an eel and a shark, we're asking everyone to pick a name for him"" wife: ""steve"" me: ""sharkeel o'neal"""

"Friday always feels like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff and Monday is when he looks down."

"I'm always frank with my sexual partners. Don't want them knowing my real name!!"

"I would make a terrible Buddhist because I kill a lot of ants and drifters"

"BREAKING NEWS: vaccinations do not work [camera cuts to several deflated balloon animals] look at these poor fellas"

"Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job? Me: After lunch, next question."

"What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado? At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house."

"6 and 7 are hanging out. 6 says ""you wanna grab a drink?"" 7 says, ""Nah, I aint ate yet."""

"Two whales walk into a bar The first whale says to the bartender ""WHAAAA-EEEEEEEE-OOOOOOO-UUUUUU"" The second whale turns to the first and says ""Frank! What the hell is wrong with you?"""