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Joke of the Day

"Two whales walk into a bar The first whale says to the bartender ""WHAAAA-EEEEEEEE-OOOOOOO-UUUUUU"" The second whale turns to the first and says ""Frank! What the hell is wrong with you?"""

"Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea? I mean cry me a river river right?"

"I'm so Italian . . . I even text with my hands."

"How Long Does It Take A Black Woman To Take A Dump? 9 months."

"Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella."

"*spills wine on Ouija board* OUIJA: *moving pointer by itself* H-E-Y S-S-E-X-Y D-Y-O-O-U-W-W-A-N-N-A M-A-K-E O-U-T ME: *moves pointer to NO*"

"I bought my kids electric toothbrushes because it was taking too long to splatter toothpaste all over the bathroom w/the regular toothbrush."

"What did the Pimp say to the bashful Gamete Prostitute? Hey, Sex-cells"

"To Do List While in Jail 1. Ask someone for an Eskimo kiss and when they shake their head no say,""Hey why'd you start without me?"" 2. 3."

"Did you know beer makes you smarter. As it made Bud Wieser."