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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a C4 and a feminist? The C4 does something when it's triggered."

"STEWARDESS: omg the plane's about to crash but the SOS message can only be 140 characters! what are we going to do?? ME: *slowly stands up*"

"Poop When you say the word ""poop"" you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Same with diarrhea."

"Why are women so afraid of looking stupid? Because they don't want the world to know!"

"What do you call a Magician's dog? A Labracadabrador."

"A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car but burned her lips on the tailpipe."

"*holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again."

"What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet."

"Gary Johnson in an Interview.. Reporter: Knock Knock! Gary Johnson: Who's there? Reporter: What is Alep Gary Johnson: What is Alepwho? Reporter: a-are you serious?"

"I suck at blowing up balloons That's probably why they never inflate"