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Joke of the Day

"The orphanage i run, burned down today with the lives of sixty children Thank fuck i don't have to tell their parents ...."

Next Joke
 
"Guys, no one on Twitter cares about what you're doing. They just want to know about how much you hate what you're doing."
"If these grapes were drugs I'd be overdosing like a child star of the 80s."
"Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron"
"Life is scary; at least the salary is funny."
"I was going to tell a joke about anal... ...but fuck it"
"I love going climbing with my friends... They never fail to let me down."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tasmanian Barbie ...spins like a top!"
"What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common? Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both."
"Hey Prius owners your entire car is a bumper sticker"