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Joke of the Day

"So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles... When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, It. all. happened. so. fast."

"How to be rich for the rest of your life... Legally change your name to ""Rich"""

"My wife and I welcomed our second child into the world yesterday afternoon! I never knew she African ancestry...but I guess I should have known with the first one."

"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""

"Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people"

"Beef Jerky Did you hear about that new kind of Porno where a slut from Vietnam gives a cow a hand job? It's called Beef Jerky. http://earlmcgerd.tumblr.com/"

"How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? One, or two? One, or two?"

"A Roman walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""Five drinks please!"""

"When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny."

"Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist? A park bench can support a family of four."