52324

Joke of the Day

"Psychedelic Playthings... So I should probably stop covering my child's toys in LSD and leaving them out... ... I've heard they can be a trip hazard."

"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."

"What is the difference between an elevator and black people? And elevator can raise kids"

"I just want to be rich enough to stop giving people toilet paper for Christmas"

"Me watching the Olympics: oh wow, that was impressive! announcer: ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"

"So a jew walked out of a bank... LOL no he didn't"

"You had me at ""I bet I can get that whole thing in my mouth."""

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."

"Hats were invented in 1784 when a Canadian was too polite to ask a raccoon to get off his head."

"When a women says ""What?"" its not because she didn't hear you. She's just giving you a chance to change your answer"