52212

Joke of the Day

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"TIL Diarrhea is hereditary It runs in your jeans"

"How do you get the guitar player off of your porch? Pay for the pizza."

"So how do you confuse a blonde Redditor? [Answer](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2pi5rn/so_how_do_you_confuse_a_blonde_redditor/)"

"What do you call a black guy who reneges on a promise? Unreliable, you racist prick."

"HR says that we are no longer able to say to anyone ""if ignorance is bliss you must be such a happy person"" even if we smile as we say it."

"Women... can't live with them and the alternative is literally a pain in the ass."

"What do Naturopathic doctors use to keep up with their finances? Quackbooks!"

"Said the porcupine, ""I just love prickled onions."""

"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""